Troubles Lyrics – Ren

[Intro: Vera Hall]
Ooh Lordy, troubles so hard
Ooh, Lordy, troubles so hard
Ooh Lordy, troubles
Ooh Lordy
Ooh Lordy, troubles
Ooh, troubles so hard
Ooh Lordy, troubles
Ooh Lordy
Ooh Lordy, troubles
Ooh, troubles so hard

[Verse]
I don’t reach into the past very much
For these shards of shattered glass and harsh paper cuts
Leave me stuck when I reach in memories are seeped in hydrochloric acid
I go to war and get passive and freeze up
But music helped the ice to thaw
Put a chisel in the middle swing the hammer of Thor
Pull it out of the impossible, excalibur sword
Etching note pads full of reasons why my feelings are sore
The first day that I got sick ejected from cockpit of living
Nineteen, young teen, waking up bitten
Posters up, manhunt, Ren went missing
Hard to have faith when the gods don’t listen
The first year maybe was the hardest
Waking in a body that was buried like a carcass
Brain in the lions den, body in a shark pit
Waking up in pain again, aching, brokenhearted
Persistent little bugger I was bouncing from a doctor
To a doctor to a doctor like a table tennis game that has no end
So be the fate of Ren
Every single question answered with a question on the end
The second year I came to terms with giving up my dreams
Mind was severed from the means that helped me write these rhyme schemes
Brain was inflamed. the fatigue was crushing
Hard to remain sane with your brain combusting
And the third year was murder, living in a purga-
Tory full of worry, wouldn’t live to be thirty
Lifestyle hurt me, always in my bed tomb
Re-arrange the alphabet and all the letters spell “doom”
Light hurt my eyes, popping pills to survive
When you’re twenty-three and mentally you steadily decline
Twenty-four I was poor, disability benefits
What’s the benefit of disability? It’s irrelevant
Twenty-five and the scars that were etched, they cracked
Elastic bands only stretch so far and then snap
Deep in psychosis, hallucinations, troubled vision
Visits from the underworld were conjuring my superstition
Twenty-five, living back at home with my mum
But not because I’m a bum, alone and physically done
So thin, so frail, so weak I’d become
And my skin so pale, never kissed by the Sun
One time I carved a whole in my chest, just to feel
I wish that was a metaphor, the struggle was real
When you’re living in a holocaust you buckle and kneel
There’s relief in the teeth of the kiss of cold steel
Facts, twenty-six I’m highly medicated and the pain sophisticated
While I’m laying broke and naked on my back
I brought my microphone into my coffin, started dropping
Raw thoughts with the grim reaper knocking on the track
Then man, lo and behold
I heard an angel beckon on this treacherous road
Was a stem cell doctor with a generous glow
And a cell transplant brought me out of the cold
And my skin got younger and my body got stronger
And my stomach felt hunger for a door that was closed
And my soul heard music for the first time
Beauty was a word I’d use for this gift of gold
Oh Lord, I forgive you, Lord I forgive you
Lord, I forgive you, make me whole
This music I give you, pain that I live through
Everything I’ve been through is yours to hold

[Outro – Vera Hall]
Ooh Lordy, troubles so hard
Ooh Lordy, troubles so hard
Don’t know my troubles but God
Don’t know my troubles but God
Ooh Lordy
Ooh Lordy, troubles so hard

[Intro: Vera Hall]
The intro establishes the pervasive nature of troubles, emphasizing their intensity and omnipresence. Through repetition and invocation of the divine, it conveys a sense of desperation and the universal struggle against hardship.

[Verse]
The verse unfolds as a profoundly introspective and emotive journey, intricately weaving together the threads of personal struggle, resilience, and eventual redemption. It opens with a raw introspection into the narrator’s relationship with their past, marked by a poignant reluctance to confront the painful memories that linger like shards of glass and harsh paper cuts. The imagery of memories steeped in hydrochloric acid paints a vivid picture of the corrosive effect these recollections have on the psyche, instilling a sense of paralysis and stagnation.

Amidst this emotional turmoil, music emerges as a beacon of light, offering solace and refuge from the relentless onslaught of internal strife. Through the metaphorical imagery of a chisel and hammer, music is portrayed as a potent force capable of breaking through the impenetrable walls of emotional distress, thawing the icy grip of despair, and granting the narrator a means to confront and process their innermost pain. The act of etching note pads with the reasons behind their emotional turmoil becomes a cathartic process, a tangible manifestation of the narrator’s quest for understanding and healing.

The narrative then takes a poignant turn as the onset of illness is introduced, marking a pivotal moment in the narrator’s life trajectory. The vivid imagery of being “ejected from the cockpit of living” and the subsequent manhunt for “Ren” underscores the severity of the illness and the overwhelming sense of being hunted by an invisible adversary. It is within this crucible of suffering that the narrator grapples with existential questions, confronting the fragility of faith in the face of relentless adversity.

As the verse unfolds, the toll of illness becomes increasingly palpable, mirroring the narrator’s descent into physical and emotional turmoil. Each passing year is marked by escalating hardship and despair, from the shattered remnants of dreams and severed connections to reality, to the crushing weight of fatigue and the haunting specter of psychosis and hallucinations that plague the narrator’s tortured mind.

The physical deterioration is starkly portrayed, with imagery of languishing in a “bed tomb” and skin untouched by the comforting embrace of sunlight, symbolizing a life consumed by illness and isolation. The haunting admission of carving a hole in the chest to feel amidst the numbing embrace of despair lays bare the depth of the narrator’s anguish and the desperation that grips their soul.

Yet, amidst the darkness, a flicker of hope emerges in the form of medical intervention. The serendipitous encounter with a stem cell doctor becomes a catalyst for transformation, pulling the narrator from the abyss of illness and restoring vitality to their weary frame. The rejuvenation of skin, the strengthening of the body, and the rekindling of hunger for life serve as potent symbols of resilience and renewal amidst the wreckage of despair.

As the verse draws to a close, the narrator’s journey culminates in an act of profound forgiveness and gratitude. The extension of forgiveness to a higher power, coupled with a recognition of the transformative power of music and the indomitable spirit forged through pain, offers a poignant message of hope and redemption in the face of adversity. Through the crucible of suffering, the narrator emerges not as a victim, but as a survivor, wielding their experiences as a beacon of light to guide others through the darkest of nights.

[Outro – Vera Hall]
The outro echoes the refrain of troubles, acknowledging their intensity, while expressing a surrender to a higher power’s understanding and guidance in navigating them.